First interview after suicide

This is the first ever interview of a dead person after suicide.

The interviewer is our own Cidadão and the interviewed is a man that we will hide the identity as in this day and age, suicide is not well received by the populous.

Q: Why?
A: Because... not really anything made sense anymore and as I am a curious person, I always wondered what was there after you died.

Q: And?
A: Well you found me, else I don't know if I would ever found myself, so.. it's comfortable not having a body, and floating through space/time, but quite hard to keep yourself yourself.

Q: So you have regrets?
A: Not really. I regret no one I left behind understands what's up with living and dying, but well they surely will know soon enough.

Q: Soon enough? Do you have anything you wanna tell us about the future?
A: Well, I don't really know anymore on what Time you are, so.. Hitler is coming? Trump is coming? Well, you'll have plenty of reasons to die in the future I tell you.

Q: Ok, then, at least now we know that there is a form we can occupy after dead, right?
A: Not really. I am not a form nor even matter, but I know I still am, but probably not for long. I can tell you that in the first few moments you're dead, you're pretty relieved, I think that goes for almost everyone.

Q: So you think living is something worries oneself and dying is like a release of this worrying?
A: In sorts. I think now that Being involves some kind of weight, not only the gravity part, pushing you down all the time, as one has mass, but also the weight of the mind and consciousness. This weight comes with a lot of work, as one must follow ones values and principles constantly against 7 billion other values and principles. That takes a toll.

Q: However hard life is, you can find other that think alike? Don't that makes it easier to carry oneself?
A: Yes of course, but however easier it gets, it's always an illusion. The weight people help you carry is a good way for one to know how much ones conscience weights. If you need a lot of people then probably you are a heavy person. However, not needing anyone doesn't mean that you are lite, but maybe that you are strong and like to carry yourself around, instead of asking for others to help. Still it is an illusion as, first you should know how much you carry, where to carry it and for how long. You shouldn't ask for help on something you don't know how much help that will need. It happens that people get very tired of helping you and probably will leave after a while.

Q: And did you ask for help? Would that have helped?
A: I didn't really. I never liked to ask for help. Never even liked to talk about myself. So I took it to myself. No one will ever help you if you don't ask, there are no telepathy in humankind. I could have, I am better off without.



Anónimo